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jackie chiles as phil morris
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i lied. i said my head was concussed--that i fell off my bike getting chased by a dog so i could walk into seminar drunk, first day of program. blacked out at the table during simple discussion. came to, they were leaving. started speaking broken. shouldered out the door, some girl told me she'd give me a ride home. my knees are all busted to shit. if it seems like i haven't slept in weeks: i haven't. at some point, i'm just something bad to happen to someone else. always praying for rain. always thinking too much about myself. my days are made up of enjambment, remember my lies and get stuck to the static, been trying to listen to graceland a little more often. i'd rather be alone by myself than alone with old friends because let's face facts, i've forgot how to love and they don't understand all my jokes about people with money. got some sorrows to drown. take your drinks alone. i'm riddled with guilt. i broke out in a sweat. if it seems like i haven't slept in weeks: i haven't.
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kavorka
02:19
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kavorka
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i've been lonely enough to take his advice on it, that "it's never too late to change," but most days i think it is. i bat for the team that shoots the elephant and jackass both in the neck with a single shot slug barreled rifle. i'm fine with that because i hate the praise. by bat, i mean the purple ball-point pen i use to dig into my leg so as to resound with something that hasn't been said yet. i am the bolt action, not optimist nor pessimist, but stuck relying on cheap wine. i'm fine with that but i hate malaise. i watch gray smoke stain the white ceiling paralyzed by my song of myself and i think i've taken too much or it all too seriously.
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